NO OTHER LOVE.

In life, I believe ultimately in the two basic ways to look at life. Take a bowl of shark's fin for instance.Usually, I look at it as a delightful treat. I mean, I don't get to eat shark's fin everyday and eating it means I magically ascend to gastronomical elysium to savour the heavenly taste of golden soup. Also kinda brings me back to childhood memories when I loved shark's fin so much my mom started experimenting with the recipes. That was until I discovered that...

The soup contained mercury in them. Then, I'd watch sharks' fins getting slashed off by fishermen with the remains of their carcasses strewn back into the depths of the sea, which makes you wonder whether you really like others to suffer for the sake of your own enjoyment. Really brings you back to the 'why-is-the-world-so-cruel-and-unfair' mentality, and you begin to wallow in sorrow till you'd want the entire world to pity you.

The latter, is kinda exactly how I'm feeling.Yesterday I was feeling worse off. I had thoughts about the world. Not like those when you feel sad for the world because there's so much conflict going on but it's a more realistic sadness, closer to anyone. It's like you feel sad because people have such selfish desires, people wanna use each other and there's no real mutual trust among people. Then when you think about it about why people are so nice to you, it leads you to wonder whether they're really faking it in order to gain some sort of benefit from you.

I had thoughts like that, and among many others. I felt that, we're all lonely, somewhere inside of our very souls.

Sure, it sounds all mythical and unreal but, it's the sort of loneliness you feel when there's no one around to know your needs, your concerns, your emotions... just about everything.

Even sometimes when you believe God will provide everything, it's hard to read the signs. But well, I getting some headway into this, and I wanna thank Him for everything as pieces of my life begin to fit each other.

Now that I blog about it, I'm actually feeling better. Although it's not exactly enlightening to realise that there're only two days left for freedom. At first it was excitement, then it just died down into uncertainty and painful realisation of the demotion to a pathetic conscript. I guess it's just what I'm feeling now, it'll peak into exhilaration tomorrow.

A very rare emo portrait.

Well, guess that's the perfect result of listening to too many emo tunes.

Fourty-eight hours remaining, approximately.

So it's not the last you'll be hearing from me, kids :D