PAIN OF SLEEP.

You think you are when you know you aren't - that's human.

~

Hmm, I was just thinking of something. In my younger childhood days, I was a really quiet kid, just like most people. Actually, I'm referring to when I was in school. My mentality was that if I was a good kid, the teachers would love me and I'd have no problems at all. I'd even get good remarks at parent-teacher sessions. When that happened, I had developed a superiority complex when it came to teachers. In other words, I was always careful not to piss them off and hand up my homework on time. Maybe sometimes, I'd even despise the more rowdy ones.
During the course of changes, I've learnt that an evolution has occurred. Teachers aren't the higher echelon of species as I had previously imagined. They're more like mentors this time round, but they can be like friends to you. Or if you're stuck with some you don't really favour, you just avoid them. It's the same with classmates.

Surprisingly, the tables have turned. I guess it's kind of a good thing, but as for me it'll still take some adjusting because it's all thanks to my alma mater for this mindset. Yes, I think I am more talkative this time, very good right?

I'm still rather amazed how the durian kid who used to be some obedient innocent boy I saw at the mrt station blossomed into a pai kia who now wears a earring and possesses a tatoo. Not to forget the ponster melon.

SWANK SENESCENCE.

Just a minor update, I've been listening to 草蜢! Addictive for a short period!

Okay anyway, I had this mini reunion at chinatown. Like so cool right, I'm finally getting in touch with my chinese side, though it's really freaking me out. My shanghainese relatives came over to visit this little red dot, and they're actually the family of my grandpa's bro. So we just had a rather 'humble' dinner which costed close to six hundred bucks.

I thought I would never ever watch campus superstar in my lifetime, but I did. No choice, two big television sets in the room set to channel u. So I caught the four finalists' performances and everything was so predictable. The prettier girl from vjc and the auntie killer sec one boy would win the final two spots. I had to even defy my own preferences and admit that the thirteen-year-old boy was going to win this whole contest, of popularity it seems.

My grandpa isn't inactive at all, he's extremely feisty and full of energy man. He even coerced his brother to drink a full glass of beer. Actually, more like compel, ahahah. Then he kept making my grandma sing karaoke by herself. When she refused, he kept shouting, "不要！ 不要！ 不要！唱歌！ 加油！" But of course he sung a duet with her in the end, ahaha that's why I love my grandparents man!

They didn't really like it when that small brat won, I guess they preferred the vj girl like my mom. Maybe include me too, ahaha. Right, that's all, continue listening to 草蜢, kids!

Edit: Hahaha, kill me for this man.

ADOLESCENCE; GRAN HISTORIA DE SONIDO.

Gosh, I can't even believe I'm going to blog about this, but it kinda reminds me a lot about my childhood days. Anyway, I think I'd fork out as much as seventeen-ninety to reminisce about my memorable past.

This is freaky, but I remembered always listening to one mandarin band, and I think my parents thought I really loved this boy band because their songs were played on the radio and their songs unconsciously registered into my head. Okay, I sound really weird I know, ahaha but I was like totally in love with 草蜢 (or grasshopper) in the past. Crazy as hell right?! I listened to one of their songs recently and went like hey, I think I'm gonna do something out of this world and purchase my first mandarin album. Ahahaha.It was just sitting there on the shelf in music junction innocently till I spotted it. I even went as far as basement one to see whether sembawang music still existed. Unfortunately not, but I managed to buy it. Wahaha tell me I wasn't thinking straight at all.
Initially, I thought they were totally missing in action ever since my primary school days. Shockingly, they recently released their "forever grasshopper collection". My goodness, I wanted to get it lah! But it didn't have the songs I used to listen to and it included a karaoke dvd in it. -_- Out of range for me, I haven't even been to kbox yet, and it's weird singing mandarin songs aloud in public.

So this was more than enough to suffice.
Right now, I'm listening to all of their songs and they all sound so familiar! Awww~ feeling warm and nice in my tummy.

If you think that's it, I ain't done yet!


This is like damn shocking lah, they performed on that charity show on channel eight this year?! I think I wanna go fly out of the window right now. They even went bugis this year to perform, arghhhh.

Hahaha this is uber cool stuff man, sing along kids! :)

If you think you wanna be as crazy as me, you can try downloading their songs!

‘爱不怕’
‘又爱又恨’
‘宝贝，对不起’

And many many more, actually. I'm just lazy to type out all the mandarin titles :) I think I might try and get their newer songs like ‘forever’ and ‘我们’! Oh my, I'm sick.

This was broadcasted on my birthday this year! Aww man go ahead and fall in love! Before that, I think I'm gonna learn the cantonese lyrics, wahahaha my gosh.

Ahh so sweet, I think if you listen to their songs you'd think they're quite gay. Who cares anyway, I might listen to them everyday. Hahaha this is otherwise called, a fad. But it's really amazing that they're still united as a group, while other groups are all disbanding and their songs don't last very long in my head, hoho.

I got other childhood stories to come but they'll take some time! :D

WE THINK AND WE BLINK.

To dance without emotion is just purely, spastic. Period.I thought long and hard about this. Yet I don't even think I'm gonna say this out straight, and rumours might start flying high and all that. It's damn ironic right? You can't even write about how you really feel on a personal diary and worry about being subjected to ridicule.

It's always like that - I can only stare and admire, but I can't do anything at all. I admit, it's not can't but I won't. Why? Because I'm afraid of getting dissed off and being seen as some loser. Actually it's not because of that reason anymore, it's just because it's not right at all. It's not right, but I'm still doing it. Why? Haha why do I keep asking myself why? I guess it's because there're no defined peripheries to admiration. Snap, it just happens. For me, it's a long snap. So long, I end up feeling crushed like a piece of rolled-up paper and screwed up right inside.

Then what do I do next? I shut up about it. Can you believe it? I plainly shut the hell up about everything and act like it's okay when it's not at all. That's the problem with introverts, or rather that's mostly the problem with me.

Never mind. I'll wait. Wait for two possibilities. I know they'll come, surely.

As for now, I keep my faith, because it's still burning bright and strong.

~

Hmm you know what I realised? Ever since I joined my class, I had a feeling it might be great because everyone seemed so bonded. Actually, we're all still bonded, it's just that after I've got to know everyone a little more, there are complications.

We ostracise. We ridicule. We avoid. But that's only after more than a year of 'getting to know you'. Although I've made it out to look that bad, it's actually okay after all. At least I know we're a hell lot better than the other classes, who are like failing miserably in conduct and everything else. That probably implies that yes, the cohort will fall. I can't allow myself to fall along with them though, because this school is only a stone on my path which I will kick away after everything is done.

I think there're like three cliques in the class already. But it doesn't matter really, since everything still looks well, on the exterior that is. At least we still score and have fun together, and that's what matters, for now.

A VOIDED TROGLODYTE.

5 Keep your lives from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."^{[Deut. 31:6]}

6 So we say with confidence,

"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"^{[Psalm 118:6,7]}

Hebrews 13

Amen.

AMALGAMATED UNCERTAINTIES.

I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing at all, I really don't know. In fact, I think I never knew. What a damned dolt I've been.

~

There was this jj superstar thing and yes, I did go. That's because about ninety percent of my class went and being so supportive of them, I went. I wanted to support zhiwen as well, who was one of the contestants of this singing competition. Why not, right?
You know this big joke? I thought since it was going to be a night event, everyone would come in their nice clothing and something decent. Hey ho, I can safely say that out of ten students, six came in school clothes. Like wow, I think I love my school so much more right now, so many loyal j1s. I think they made me wanna take a trip back to boon lay to dress in my jj uniform.
While we were waiting at dover mrt, solach just had to show me this, and make me take this shot. It's the first entry by the way. After that, he sorta wallowed in his inner depths of envy.
It wasn't all about the superstar finals actually, we held a mini birthday celebration for our handsome gp rep.See what I mean by 'handsome', edmund?!
By the way, the finals were held at the sp convention centre. At first, we were about to walk into the second level where we were expecting the glass doors to slide open with ushers to invite us with loving warm arms. Edwin then told me it was at the ground floor instead and the so-called ushers were busy carrying cartons of can drinks into the building. Budget, budget.This brochure makes me feel like it's all worth it to spend fourty cents on train fare to come to this. Ah.

Did I hint sarcasm?What a happy day for the prince. Actually I do feel they look rather compatible in the photo, and I think there might be a chance. Hey that's silly, there is a chance!

Anyway I wanted to post a suave picture of the prince but I promised him I wouldn't. I'll keep to my word :(
Look at the huge volume of eye-catching jjcians! Ah, the love!
Frankly, I thought the finals were generally okay. 'Okay' sounds really vague right? I'll elaborate then. It was enjoyable, but when people got too comfortable, the balance tips and it kinda spoils the whole thing. The entire event lived up to my expectations actually, so I'm not really bothered. There were lots of screaming. When I mean lots, you'll get what I mean as long as you've set foot in my school. The performances were fantastic because they were mostly in mandarin and the voices was of pure singaporean quality.

Oh, except for the spotlights. They were immensely annoying to the eyes and the light sequence was the same throughout the show, even during fast or slow songs. Creativity at its zenith.
"Everyone put your hands up and sway vigorously during a slow song to kill the entire mood!"When it was announced that this guy was going to sing 'how to save a life' by the fray, chingyi and lewis became excited.

Subsequently after his performance, they suggested better titles like 'how to save our lives' or 'how to save his life'. Go figure.
The ruggers who were making the ton of noise at the back actually lightened the mood at times. There was this time when the emcees told everyone not to vote more than once, and she said it's be weird that if the number of votes exceeded the number of people present. Then one of the ruggers hollered, "I can ask my mother to vote what!" Hahaha and the entire audience bursted into laughter.

Well, they aren't entirely bad even if they kept making ear-piercing screams throughout the performances. They repeated chanted "ella, ella, a, a" during 'umbrella' by rihanna so many times that I think I might go listen to that song for a second time. Ahaha, retarded man.

OUGHT TO BE SHOT TWICE.

Okay, ms tan, it's gone now :)


Hmm anyway, I just caught the second episode of live the dream today, even though I didn't catch the auditions and don't plan on doing so. I only watched half of the show though, but I managed to sum up five reasons for watching the show.

1. Because of andrea fonseka. (fair enough)

2. Because of michelle chia. (... -_-)

3. Because you enjoy watching dick lee critiquing the contestants' fashion sense more than their singing.

4. Because you're looking out for the foreign singers in the show from the philippines, malaysia, etc. (which is about half or most of the singers in the show)

5. Because you're waiting for the news to start at nine-thirty.

I'd choose the last reason over the rest, but I decided to do something more productive after that, ahaha. But seriously lah, I personally think the entire show is a joke. They claim it's not like singapore idol but they change the logo, add in a new judge and host, bring in more foreigners, mix it all up and you get a supposedly brand new singing competition with more attractive prizes. Tsk I mean like come on man, it's not like taufik's performing all across the globe now. Even if these s.i. contestants have been spotted for their talent, it's definitely not singing.

Maia lee now's some star blogger on stomp and joakim was trying to act in that lifeline firefighter show which I don't watch.

Well, this contest isn't anymore different, and probably the only plus point of the show is when ken puts the 'singers' down with criticisms. Agree, agree?

S-CUBED.

Hey s13 peeps, I'm finally done with the post and you can read it here.

It's password protected by the way so ask me for it.

You know you wanna.

Edit: I think I've decided to be magnanimous and allow certain outsiders to view this post if I like their faces, ahaha. After all, you only have to ask :) or beg, depending on the circumstances :(

FEELING SULTRY ALL OVER.

On wednesday, it was one of the most futile school days I've ever had. Travel there at seven in the morning, watch the future leaders of the school (*cough*sell*cough*) pledge their souls to the school for another year and watch videos that hardly makes you laugh. Okay lah, there were still rather funny, so I'll give them some credit. After that was eating kacang puteh, over-sweetened candy floss, some indian cracker stuff and others in the canteen while watching the teachers enjoy the buffet laid out at the concourse. The catered food didn't look palatable though, but that isn't the point.
Sort of reluctantly because I felt mildly tired, I followed the rest to simlim and bugis.
While waiting on the bus, solach brought out his chemistry work to do in front of us. Truly, a solach, enough said.
Honestly, there isn't a lot to comment about lah, just that walking around so much is really draining. Since we all had to wake up so early for some nonsensical concert thing.

Stop grinning, pang.
We went to the first shop at the ground floor at simlim and christopher was already eyeing this canon camera. We were like okay, maybe we should walk around some more to do more window shopping.

From the ground floor to the sixth or seventh floor and back all the way down. Since each level consisted of a circular path, we easily walked around in circles fifteen times, including repetitions.

The result, we ended up at the first shop and chris bought his camera there. Hoho, and I joked that there was zero net work done. Great game.
I initially thought my entire family would sit around the television set at my grandma's place on national day and we'd watch the fireworks from there. But it was different this time around. My uncle wanted to get our lazy asses off to east coast and spend family time at east coast park. I had a bad feeling, because we were definitely going to struggle for empty spaces around the park or something like that.Well, actually sort of, just that they arrived there in the afternoon and we joined them later. Night soon fell, but most of the time we were playing frisbee and soccer on the grass. It's a huge disadvantage to play with my younger cousins. They'll look at me, and I'd be one of their main targets, and ho, perfect victim for dodgeball. Two of the kids ganged up on me lah, pfft.It was drawing near to the fireworks display at the bay, so I tagged along with the kids to the jetty to catch the sights.I shot bug-eyed poses of my cousin, then he felt like doing more because he wanted that red-eye effect. So I tried and tried.
We didn't get the desired effect and he ended up looking like an idiot in all of the shots. Ahah, how mean.
Cool.Act cool, wahaha.

In the end, the fireworks were too far to be shot, but we could at least catch a few glimpses of the display at the jetty. Since my cousins have very short attention span, they could only patiently watch the fireworks for about two minutes before they start complaining of boredom. Then when the actual finale came, they all gave a resounding "woahhhh..." Ahaha, don't you wanna be a kid again?
Secondary two jeremy who's one of my older cousins decided to go for a ride on the bikes. Well, I haven't cycled for a long time after all so, why not?

Whenever he caught up on me with some tricks pretending he wasn't trying to race me, I revved up the gear to overtake him. Then, I'd hear pleas from the back telling me to slow down. When I did, he'd try to overtake me again. See, cunning cousin. Anyway, we rode a really long way from where we began, about two to three kilometres and my ass started to ache.

When it was time to get back, I assured jeremy the ride of his life and we raced all the way back. Okay, it wasn't considered a race, because he was always half a kilometre behind me, wahahaha. At the finish line, we packed up and went for dinner at some coffeeshop in the east. Nothing much I guess, just another family gathering at a different location, enjoyable I guess.

Oh by the way s13 peeps, if you happen to see this spot, have a little patience. I'll blog about it at another space soon.

THE BALSAM BLOOM

I had a dream last night, but I'm not going to share it. Your loss, wahahaha.

And I just kinda got over the phone with my tutor and had to calm her because she read about read in my previous post. She wanted to receive some assurance from me or not her uncontrollable hyperventilating spasms resulting from the guilt of not being able to be an effective tutor wouldn't cease, hoho.
The balsam which I photographed in april bloomed! What a pwetty pwetty sight, don't call me a flowerboy though.

You kids should read this, it's like a breakthrough in quantum physics and it's rather revolutionary. It might imply further developments in that area. Cool things you learn from the web.

Enjoy your national day holidays while you can :) while ac kids go mug like crazy the rest of the week for their impending preliminaries. Go kelly go!

LITERAL LANGUOR.

Whilst walking to the bus interchange this morning, I saw a boy and his dad walking hand in hand. He was roughly a three-year-old. His mother and older brother were walking ahead of them. Suddenly, the older brother turned around and ran to the little boy gleefully and gave him a huge warm hug. They remained there for a moment in each other's arms. It seemed like a picture perfect moment with their parents around them smiling with joy. Then, the two brothers walked hand-in-hand with their dad on their right. I strolled behind them and thought about how once in a while, we all need warmth. We have to depend on people whom we trust and care about, that's how we survive. That's something which is what's worth living for.

What followed was that the older brother let go of his little brother's hand to scratch his ass, which was quite a comical moment. Ahem, but that's not the point.

At night, it was grandma's birthday celebration and she turns seventy-four tomorrow. I haven't seen her in a while so I was glad to see that she was well since she had a bad fall a few months ago. We didn't have an elaborate celebration of sorts as my parents didn't want us to travel so far to some posh restaurant, so we chose the coffeeshop nearby for a seafood dinner.

As we were driving, my dad went past m.i., which is now located at bukit batok. Thank goodness I would never ever have to go there again. My mom suddenly mentioned something about the education there. You'd spend three years studying there for a degree while the poly students study the same period for a diploma, which gets you a job. It's a waste of time, she noted. In addition, she said, "what's the point, it's a waste of land," which implied that the government couldn't make a wise decision over this. I totally agreed to that, and my brother and I let out a snicker.

During the trip back home, my mom shared another story about how one time when she was brisk walking with dad, she met her a girl. She was squatting down near the railing of the monsoon drain. Apparently, she was crying but my mom didn't know what was wrong with her. During the second round of walking, she was still there and she said to my mom, "我电话掉了，怎么办?" I think you'd expect my mom to say something helpful to comfort her right? She just replied, "不知道,"and walked away with my dad. Ahaha. But what my mom said made sense lah, if some stranger suddenly just told you something bad happened to him/her, you wouldn't even bother right? Actually, you wouldn't even know if it was a ploy to rob you or something else worse.

Apparently, after she finished her rounds of exercise, she saw the girl busy smsing on her phone.
I guess crying did bring her phone back. Try doing that next time.